Final Assessment

I was a little disappointed to find that when comparing my personal scores from Unit 3 to Unit 9, I had dropped my rating one point in each category.  Physical, Spiritual and Psychological went from 9, 6, 7 to 8, 5, 6.  I consider two possible explanations for this: 1. My pregnancy has lowered my self-efficacy and physical performance just slightly; and 2. Money and job stress over the last couple of months have been a mental burden and caused my time management (translating to loss of quiet time) to suffer.

While I have felt good during the course of my pregnancy, having little sickness, average weight gain, no risk, etc.,  I am definitely outside of my comfort zone physically.  I am used to being more active and exercising at the gym regularly.  While I kept up my normal exercise for a while, I reached a point (around 30 weeks) where exercise felt especially taxing and painful.  I still walk and stretch as much as possible, but I miss being able to run and participate in more challenging fitness classes.  I look forward to getting back to that after the birth. 

Anticipating having a child, mixed with the the normal anxiety of being an actor (my husband is also an actor) and not having a reliable income has definitely been challenging mentally and spiritually.  While we have become much more stable over the past few months, there is still an anxious feeling that fluctuates but never quite disappears.  I have definitely been managing stress through meditation and through my own cognitive process, so I feel that it could be affecting me much more dramatically than it has.

Overall, I also feel that my numbers going down reflect a growth, not a retreat.  My awareness of my mind an body has advanced throughout this class, which could make me more critical of my health and wellness.  For example, I've played guitar very casually on and off since I was in high school.  I know several chords and a few songs.  But when I've taken formal lessons, I suddenly feel far less adequate, even though I am learning and growing.  Because I can see how far I still have to reach, where I am seems like a great distance away.  I feel that way about my integral health.  You can be climbing a mountain, look down and think, wow, I have climbed a long way.  But when you look to the top and see how much further you have to go, you will either feel motivated or dismayed.  Our success depends on our personal reaction to those different perspectives.