Final Assessment

I was a little disappointed to find that when comparing my personal scores from Unit 3 to Unit 9, I had dropped my rating one point in each category.  Physical, Spiritual and Psychological went from 9, 6, 7 to 8, 5, 6.  I consider two possible explanations for this: 1. My pregnancy has lowered my self-efficacy and physical performance just slightly; and 2. Money and job stress over the last couple of months have been a mental burden and caused my time management (translating to loss of quiet time) to suffer.

While I have felt good during the course of my pregnancy, having little sickness, average weight gain, no risk, etc.,  I am definitely outside of my comfort zone physically.  I am used to being more active and exercising at the gym regularly.  While I kept up my normal exercise for a while, I reached a point (around 30 weeks) where exercise felt especially taxing and painful.  I still walk and stretch as much as possible, but I miss being able to run and participate in more challenging fitness classes.  I look forward to getting back to that after the birth. 

Anticipating having a child, mixed with the the normal anxiety of being an actor (my husband is also an actor) and not having a reliable income has definitely been challenging mentally and spiritually.  While we have become much more stable over the past few months, there is still an anxious feeling that fluctuates but never quite disappears.  I have definitely been managing stress through meditation and through my own cognitive process, so I feel that it could be affecting me much more dramatically than it has.

Overall, I also feel that my numbers going down reflect a growth, not a retreat.  My awareness of my mind an body has advanced throughout this class, which could make me more critical of my health and wellness.  For example, I've played guitar very casually on and off since I was in high school.  I know several chords and a few songs.  But when I've taken formal lessons, I suddenly feel far less adequate, even though I am learning and growing.  Because I can see how far I still have to reach, where I am seems like a great distance away.  I feel that way about my integral health.  You can be climbing a mountain, look down and think, wow, I have climbed a long way.  But when you look to the top and see how much further you have to go, you will either feel motivated or dismayed.  Our success depends on our personal reaction to those different perspectives.

Unit 9 Project

The definition of health and wellness is slightly different depending on who is asked.  For a conventional Western physician, it might be the absence of physical illness.  For a religious leader, it might have more to do with spiritual connectedness and practice.  And for a clinical psychologist, it may lean toward behavioral or cognitive awareness and performance.  Integral health and wellness touches on all three aspects of health, not only the absence of pain or illness in each area, but the flourishing of the human mind, body and spirit.  For an integral health professional, flourishing is important both personally and professionally to act as example and guide to a patient/client, so the person may see how to put wellness principles into practice, as well as observe the fruits of practice. 

In assessing myself in each area, I recognize that physical wellness is my strongest point, with mind and spirit both in need of attention to varying degrees.  My physical health has come very far in the last several years, since I spent most of my life from age 8 to 25 overweight and inactive.  I decided to become proactive about losing weight through better nutrition and exercise at age 25, and it changed my body completely, as well as my self-efficacy.  I found that over the past few years, as I have conformed to my newly-found health guidelines, my psychological wellness correlated with my physical wellness.  Now that I have settled physically, I need to find new outlets of fulfillment psychologically now that I no longer have self-efficacy conflicts when it comes to my body image.  My spirituality has also been dynamic recently.  I was raised Catholic and was always actively involved in my religion.  I remain faithful to the beliefs, but not all of the practices of the Church.  My spiritual development includes but is not limited to Church practices.  Overall, on a scale of 1 to 10, I score myself thusly in the three areas: Body: 8; Mind: 6; Spirit: 5. 

My physical goals are on the right track, but not fully actualized.  A goal I have for myself physically is to perfect my body on an athletic level.  Right now I am 32 weeks pregnant, so this goal will have to wait for a few months while I deliver my baby and recover from delivery.  Nutritionally, I am healthy, maintaining an appropriate weight and taking in the right amount of calories and nutrients that I have found to work for my body.  Physically, I would like to challenge myself.  I have participated in a few 5K races and I attend classes at my gym, but I would like to move out of my exercise comfort zone by completing a longer race, starting with 10K.  I would also like to implement a more consistent resistance training schedule to tone muscle. 

Psychologically, I am satisfied with my day to day function, but I tend to become anxious easily.  I have struggled with panic attacks since my teen years, although they are rarer now.  I have spoken to psychologists about this issue and cognitive measures have been suggested.  To address anxiety, focusing on the present is my main goal.  Most of my anxious feelings result from dwelling on the past or the future, so I try to invest in whatever is happening at the moment of my panic.  Becoming intent on a work or home project is helpful to minimize anxiety.  I would eventually like to reach a point where I do not have to think through my panic as much and will more easily transition to the present. 

My least developed area in my opinion is spirituality.  Although I feel very connected to my religious faith, I have trouble taking time for quiet reflection or prayer, due to my short attention span.  I feel that I miss a lot of opportunity to connect to spiritual feeling because I am distracted by work, entertainment or anything else going on around me.  When I attempt to meditate, it is easy for my mind to wander and get pulled away by passing thoughts.  My goal to develop spiritual connection is to continue meditation practice, increasing my chance of quieting my mind and learning to observe and let go of thoughts more easily.

To progress toward these goals, I can implement specific practices.  I plan to return to physical training after I recover from delivery.  I will train for a longer run, either in a formal race or on my own, starting with 5K and moving beyond it.  To heighten my muscle toning, I will commit to a weight lifting class that I have attended sporadically in the past but will produce much better results with more consistency. Psychologically, my goal of remaining in the present requires mental exercise.  I can establish a physical or mental routine for times when I begin feeling anxious.  Active meditation, such as a mundane activity like folding clothes, combined with a mantra I can repeat in my mind, may return me to presence and away from my anxious thoughts.  For spiritual practice, I plan to set a time to practice meditation each day.  If over time I am still having difficulty quieting my thoughts, I will try different times of day or different methods to find what works best.  I have also considered attending religious services with different faiths. Although I remain a Catholic Christian, I am interested in the logistics and practices of other faiths.

      Self-assessment of progress in integral health is not entirely objective.  I may progress in some areas based on my material goals, but how I feel holistically will be the true gage of wellness.  I believe this will be especially true after my baby is born.  I expect to feel physically exhausted and have a lot of work to do to restore my body, but at the same time I hope to feel emotionally and spiritually happy to have a child.  To me, this is a prime example of health being person-centered, dynamic and evolutionary.  Outside of the context of having a child, being tired and overweight would adversely affect my well-being. But those things as a result of pregnancy do not have the same effect.  So with that in mind, my assessments and goals moving forward will be fluid.  I will rely more heavily on the support of my husband, family and friends to reach my wellness goals. 

      This course has been invaluable to put into perspective ideas that I have had regarding holistic wellness.  It is refreshing to learn how integral health is being applied to and with Western medical science.  In my Health and Wellness education so far, this has been the most inspiring and motivating course, and I hope to be a part of the awareness of holistic and integral practices in our country.  As I have learned, of course, that begins with my own integral development.